I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
you kept spraying the cat with water and then telling it to "man up" when it cried
She celebrated a negative pregnancy test by going out to Quizno's. I really don't understand her at all.
Jerking off has been your answer to everything tonight.
I woke up to the sound of a beer can being opened. I love him already
Every single person in dollar tree stares at you if you are buying a pregnancy test and wearing a charlie brown costume. Just FYI.
He woke me up for a 10am bootycall. he was already drunk when he got here and when we were fucking, bagpipes started playing amazing grace outside of my window!! I love Boston on st. Patties day!!
If you come home soon there's a stripper in the shower. Don't be alarmed
I was talking about you wanting my dick, but that works too
I fucking love my neighbors. I offered him chocolate and somehow it turned into a sexual proposition.
I need to stop getting in the car with my dad when im rolling balls. I think he's starting to notice my eyes aren't usually completely pupil
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
My uber driver just told me I smell like fun...still drunk at 7 am
I'm high. I apologize for that last sentence
What's with guys asking if I wanna "kick it" like I'm some fucking 19 year old
Randomize
