Omg alex and i were cooking weiners on a campfire and a bear came and i am waayyy too high for this
i found her turbo button.....if you know what i mean.
i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
just saw an anti-abortion rally outside of the courthouse...so naturally i tossed them out a coat hanger i found in my car
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
votre penis est TRES GRAND. i used vous because your penis is SO big
putting weed in the twinkies box was possibly the best idea you've ever had
a kid puked on the floor and instead of, you know, cleaning it they cut a square out of the carpet with a boxcutter and threw it outside
Can I color on your dick again?
I think I ruined his life by managing to get his initiation nickname for his frat to be "Whiskey Dick" but I still wish herpes on him and his fugly new girlfriend.
And you will no longer be getting a thank you note from my vagina
At some point during thanksgiving the image of me pooping on ur moms chest will come to you. Your welcome!
All I've succeeded in doing since I saw you is drool on my shoulder
The Vicodin is in the strawberries.
Decided to stay in tonight. Completely sober. Just got two drunken booty calls within 5 minutes of each other. This is my life.
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