Umm went to talk to a client ended up seeing his semi erect penis. This is my life.
nothing says "we're all in this together" like the herpes she passed around to our entire group of friends
his mom found me in the closet hiding and the only thing i could think of was to sit there and wave.
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
BAHHAHHAHHAHAHHA SOME ASS IS BIYING NE DRHBKS. DRUBK
hr gave me pretxwk salad and a doubke shot of grey goose. i approve! tou guys are a beautidil couple.
im breathing rainbows and everyone is talking in bubbles whatever you gave me give me more
So I found "Fat chicks in saran wrap" in my search history.
That's all you talk about when you are wasted.
he got everyone in a room, turned off the lights and started throwing knives at the wall. if you got hit, you had to drink...
Sunrise bitch. You owe me waffles
He picked up a chick with a line about the price of used cars in Sri Lanka and developing economies. Step it up.
the only two hours i was sober on this trip and i managed to break my toe. no one will believe this.
I'm having a martini with dinner. A new level of class.
I'm stoned and eating mustard, also a new level of class.
I don't care. She's the only girl to make me feel like my face is melting when she blows me.
Her dad had just brought down their giant American flag for 4th of July and we fucked on it. I have never been more patriotic
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