Yeah! I got cockblocked by the blizzard last night. Lost girl on way to my apartment. Not a joke
I think my penis and your vagina just became best friends last night.
Hey sis... Don't forget moms day is this sun. And don't get her another gift while you are freakin high this time. The vibrator was embarrassing.
FYI the vibrator was a SUCCESS. She was in a much better mood this last year. Maybe you should get high this time and get a great gift
your stepbrother is rimming his martinis with coke... keeps saying "thank god its tuesday". where does funemployment end and intervention begin?
She told me that when she orgasms she just lays there like that baby from teenmom. Who the fuck says that
But the ghost of his schlong past haunts you
and then she started to quack like a duck and u started throwing bread at her
you peed off the balcony at your sisters and asked someone below to catch it with a cup
Just watched an entire Mariachi band walk of shame home together. Halloween at its finest
I was 100% done.. I used my vibrator while eating cold pizza. Shit was magical.
Blacked-in to me, shirtless, giving myself finger guns in the mirror and rapping "stacks in the club stacks stacks in the club."
Yeah plus that night got so disgusting it's basically a repressed memory anyway
You're either getting fucked or a coupon to Friendly's. I haven't decided yet.
So this ukranian guy got angry and took his clothes off. Now he has my credit card and I can't find my keys.
It’s the universal cock block of this decade
FUCK THE COCKBLOCK 19
Randomize
