Jesus can read your poker face... He is not pleased
I just spent the last hour reading customer reviews on amazon.com for the book "it hurts when I poop." Send help.
i can hardly tell the difference between falling asleep and passing out anymore
I am waking up at 7am to go to church with him and his family... I better get eaten out tonight.
someone needs to make a hangover cure that isn't cocaine.
Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
Well he has a girlfriend. So I told him that I wanted to have sex way more than I wanted to be a decent human being.
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
As a female I reserve the right to put my ipod in my cleavage because I have no pockets and not get judged by other girls right??
i think he was starting go for a boob grab when we both realized the middle of a public tennis court wasn't the place
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
Also, my phone suggested the phrase “puke in the mailbox" how many times have I had the need to text that to people?
I think our maternal nature is best focused on grown ass men and cats.
This is a test message to see whether or not the recipient is alive.
No one can touch me, I'm made of fruit.
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