But i just feel like he will pull it out and ill panic. I mean its fairly basic. Up and down. But i feel like ill just freak out.
my phone needs a breathalizer
How did I get so drunk? We had to fish that girl out of the Goodwill Donation Box.
he changed my name in his contacts to "rick", so his mom wouldn't know he was texting me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I introduced him to the male G-Spot. Don't ever tell me I'm not experienced.
When she was giving me head last night it felt like there was a NASCAR pit crew working on my dick.
I'm using the size of your dick as a guage to see how big something is on Amazon. Any questions?
Take my keys. Load me into the vehicle. Drive. Get food. Come back. These are my demands.
I repeat the shot was ON FIRE. I am never going to a pirate bar again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just thought you should know the man you CHOSE to father your children has once again fallen asleep on the toilet. thanks mom
Do you know how hard it is to be while you're high with a chuck Norris poster in the bathroom?
Feels like I ran a marathon last night. A tequila marathon.
Good news y'all just straight up snorted 2 adderall and I'm not a real being on this plane of existence anymore and I'm ready for finals
Reading becomes significantly more difficult when people are having crazy loud sex in an adjoining room
I came so hard my ears popped.
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