Ikea night.
?
Insert tab A into swedish slot B
he put his p in my v, then his p in my a, and then tried to put the p in my m? first, double dipping is rude. second, i'm glad he finished shortly after that, i'm afraid of where he'd try to stick it next. my ear?
shape ups are the best shoes to wear when youre stoned. its like walking on little trampolines every step.
His idea of a compliment is: 'you're cuter than your friend. If you both wanted a 3way I'd do it,but I'd pay more attention to you.'
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Come, dress lightly, bring tequila...
You have to wear the princess leia gold bikini every Sunday
Is it bad that I see a party full of girls I know he has fucked as a challenge for me to be the one who ends up in his bed?
Immediate regret. She's like a chihuahua on crack.
There's cereal in my underwear. Was I in your apartment at any time last night? That's the only logical explanation for this.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You should make a checklist to ensure they are quality material. Here's mine: wearing shoes, not drunk, very hot, has teeth, speaks english. You never know
It blows my mind that pandora doesn't have an : I want to lay in bed in the dark and be sad and cold and eat frozen mangos and chipotle all day station
Code 10 We gotta leave. Now. I took a dump in the upstairs toilet and its clogged and overflowing, and believe me I don't want to have to explain myself to this frat on parents weekend.
Idk man there's lots of bad dick but even a bad cookie is still pretty good
No he can't come. I swear to gods he's "Why We Can't Have Nice Things" given physical form.
Dude I'm fucking tired of freshman, there are god damn teeth marks on my dick again
Randomize