I thought spray tan was a myth
?
You know, something that only happens in Jersey
can't wait for January to be Over so I don't have to see all the fat resolutionists working out.
Home safe. Psyche shattered. Still rolling. In love with the morrocan rug in the living room.
knew i was gonna lose at a shoe or be bleeding at some point. and both happened within 20 mins.
So half of us were already throwing up outside when the Ukrainians ask us if we're ready to start partying yet. I love this country.
He's talking about how great of a find these dollar store condoms were. Help.
That commercial was clearly aspirational. I think Arbor Mist would pair nicely with Oscar Meyer
Watching him and my sister argue over a rum and coke about who's going to chop the coffee table in half with a hatchet...
I just remembered that i did pull ups in a bikini on the porch of Red Lobster last night. someone needs to stage an intervention
I'll tell you that it involved a pair of pliers and a trip to the ER.
I demand a full explanation right now.
Also, you fell asleep with you hand on and around my cock last night.
I only spent $42 at the bar last night, it's some sort of miracle.
you do remember it was dollar beer night, right?
That answers my next five questions
Crawl out into the sunshine and off your vibrator for 7 minutes
Showed up to pick her up in my boxers. Lets just say im 2 for 2 with this new idea
I need your help immediately! I sorta kinda sliced my foot off at the ankle with my new kitana. Bring your cooler, ice and some hospital road beers.
Randomize
