I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
beer pong: waldo and ernie vs. bacon and eggs... i love halloween
dude, when you're random girl from last night came down the stairs this morning she fell all the way down. I laughed. She just walked out. I hope shes ok. Tell her I give her a 10 for that landing though.
what date should I let him know how fucked up I am?
He wanted a handjob during a John Wayne movie. I just couldn't find it in my heart to disrespect that man. John Wayne that is.
you spent the night getting lap dances from a stripper with a c-section scar then ended up at a one room casino by the airport and you say you're too good to blaze and see pirahna 3d? bullshit
Duuuude. Everything is so brilliant right now. This frosting is freaking orgasmic.
It's vanilla, man. Accept no substitutes. There are so many t's in that word.
The great thing about vietnam is that if I'm drunk during the day people just think I'm being white
She said you told her you were ready to be a dad. We just got back from our purchase of the morning after pill. That took me 2 hours of convincing. No more fucking my sister.
1. Thanks. 2. No.
Sometimes I just want to kiss you without you pulling ur cock out and waving it at me
I woke up completely naked with the exception of my leg warmers. Last night must have been interesting.
Jesus Christ. Even your cock has to be an overachiever. :-(
Do you feel better now that you've sent me a picture of your dick?
Yep.
Whats a polite way to say 'if you havent put on a freshman 15 i would like to see you during break'?
It may be a corded vibrator from the 90s but it gets the job DONE
Randomize
