Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
When I told my boss I'm using a vacation day for 4/20, he gave me his personal cell phone number and winked at me.
Long labias. Talking about. Too drunk to explain. Tomorrow.
I can't even go pee because I'm making sure he doesn't run off somewhere naked.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the cab driver said that we weren't the worst shit show he'd ever seen, CHALLENGE ACCEPTED!!
Drinking Patron always ends with me puking or receiving anal. So make your move when I start ordering it.
YOU DON'T JUST GET TO CALL AND SAY YOU MIGHT BE DEAD, THEN NOT ANSWER!
I'm going to have to have a long talk with god if my soul mate has a prince albert
Decided I'm going to wear a shirt that says "I'm sorry" whenever we go back to that fraternity
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
nothing says "fuck you jocks from high school my life is better than yours" like bringing 5 grand in 20s to the bar
No, it's ok. He's Greek. To him I'm just a light drinker, not an alcoholic.
Got drunk in Atlantic City Flagged down some guy with two wrapped tampons like road flares for a cigarette.
oh.. my GOD my dad just text me... "i need a naked women" ........... help?
I think my stomach is breaking up with me. It's giving me back everything I ever gave it.
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