the guy i hooked up with is asleep on our couch. please dont fuck him.
Its kinda awkward hearing him say the food taste like ass considering what he did last night.
It's cute how he thinks we're going to have sex again
The last thing i remember was high fiving everyone on the planet.
My third nipple is alarmingly under-appreciated.
I think "banned from Amtrak due to excessive projectile vomiting" would sum up the evening quite nicely.
I kno. She bruised her chin trying to swim thru the hardwood floor.
Questioning the dried heart shaped nutella on my boobs. Valentines day has begun.
Btw, whenever you feel discouraged about your life, think about me being frantically upset bc my mobile porn site limited me to only 5 videos a day
So I bought some random chick a shot she puked in her hands then I watched her make out with my roommate
Apparently campus cops frown on lighting a joint off of the eternal flame on Jerry Falwell's grave...
Dude we gotta go back to your cabin. left glenn. he's calling me crying and still drunk
I just almost puked & then I panicked and forced it back down because I thought I would be a waste of the apple turnover I ate.. I'm that hungover
Omg I can't even...
WAIT MOM THIS DOESNT NEED TO BE A FAMILY EVENT OK AARON DOESNT NEED TO BE AROUND FOR NIPPLEGATE 2014
I almost don't wanna have sex with her because I'm afraid she'll steal my hat
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