I just went through her cupboards. Eye patch and sword. nowhere near each other. different shelfs.
I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him
I just wnated to let you know that I laminated my history notes so i can study in the shower.
At the miami airport. Don't know if it's all the tequila I drank in cozumel or the 5 year olds french accent but I might puke.
I've gotta stop getting kicked out of bars for fighting with people over the accuracy of the Harry Potter movie.
I came out, you were peeing on the car and when I asked why you said it deserved it because its a rental
I'm just learned what a rim job is, I feel like crying
You me handle of captain and a sorostitute study sesh, if we don't get laid mancards must be relinquished
You christened everyone with a powdered doughnut and then tried to absorb vodka with your nipple.
why can't I meet attractive men at the places I like to hang out? like books a million. or the liquor store.
sitting in the kitchen naked and eating stirfry, random dude left my room saying thanks and gave me a bottle of wine. explain...
Your friend gave me you're number. I was the guy locked behind the book shelf.
I think you have the wrong number, but I hope you escaped your library-prison?
I just ate part of my sock, this has got to stop.
No, it's okay that he's on a date. I attach no more emotion to him than I do my vibrator.
you're not celebrating your 21st birthday right unless you give a male stripper a hand job, flash the bartender, and win a free vibrator.
Randomize
