Sometimes, in the course of human events, people get lit on fire.
I need to keep friends like you around just in case hell grades on a curve.
I'm thankful she wil die Alone. And I'm thankful I slept wiht her cousin. And brother.
I mean, I'm not looking for prince charming. I'm looking for the glass slipper of dicks.
What a dumb baby whore.
you are going to have to live with the consequences, i'm going to fuck your sister
I saw pigeons eating ur dried up puke today. Last night was fucking great
my dad is now demonstrating how to start a fire with a tampon. happy fucking new year!
So much Jack, so little girl.
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
We had sex on his sofa while his friend cheered and threw bugles at us
handcuff keys just fell out of my bra....wtf happened last night?
How don't you remember..? You were getting handfuls of skittles out from our bra screaming TASTE THE RAINBOW.
I feel like hooking up with you on my floor, sneaking out my window and jumping a fence is an effort that deserves a happy birthday.
That Spanish guy who looks like Ben Affleck from that club we went to 3 weeks ago is still texting me.. He clearly doesn't remember what I look like.
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