You should never have let annie watch you have sex with other women
just found more coke in my pocket. i love not washing my jeans after every individual use.
I'm walking down the halls of our hotel and listening for sex noises and knocking when I do.
the liquor store lady asked about three times if I was sure about buying two fifths of everclear. i told her I wanted to be on cops
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Not many best friends can say they've all made out with a homeless guy
Hunting for men at chipotle... I feel like I should be more disappointed that this is the way my life is going but I'm really just excited for the potential.
I will cut you
Oddly enough thats the second time today someones said that to me
Put that in perspective
Ugh. This is the type of hangover that all other hangovers want to grow up to be.
I think the name vodka for a girl is amazing
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can we go out and do something semi fancy soon? I feel like wearing a dress and pretending to be an adult.
He did leave his bud tall boy and 2 choco tacos, so not a total loss.
wanna mail me your GoPro for St.Patties and I'll mail it back to you coverend in puke?
Just made a floating bacon boat for the hot tub. This is what America is all about.
I didnt realize until i got your email that what i've been missing in my life is someone to send me dog gifs
Don't worry. I have logic.... just not morals.
Randomize