Ugh I have so many sins to confess tmw at church, you just made me think of many more I've made on that street alone
dude i totally did the walk last night came out of her room to see her dad sitting there straight lookin at me...wtf
I woke up this morning in a strange bed with a kid with an accent playing with my feet.
Dude!! Mom just asked me why you have 'boobies' hahaha
I hate my life
does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
I have located the smell of the stripper and narrowed it down to 3 girls in class
If you ever find a dick that big chop it off and bring it to me.
A French guy bit my cheek. Is that sexy there? Also had to threaten to stab the bus driver. I'm not sure I like Europe.
This is why i like single justin better. my only regret is not being present for more of his short life. may he rest in peace
Jk. Anyone who everbeers with me is my type.
The 4th is next week. If we don't get to a new level of high, we will be letting down George Washington.
They think its so cute and admirable that I learned French. BITCH HAVE YOU NEVER HEARD OF GOOGLE TRANSLATE? sexting foreign bitches, there's an app for that
I just twinged a muscle in my shoulder trying to hug myself. In the world of loneliness-based injuries, this is a new low for me.
What a weekend. It started with me realizing i might not be straight and ended with me spraining my foot.
It's like Guy Diamond blew glitter into my vagina.
Randomize
