He ate me out. It was like watching him trying to win a pie eating contest
Ed hardy makes air fresheners now. Now even the air can be a douchebag.
So in our children's lit class, some jackass little boy had gone thru the where's waldo book and circled waldo. I realize you would have been that kid.
It only takes once for you to drunkly piss on a chick for her to lose interest in you.
he called AT&T to make sure that he had insurance before he threw his cell phone into the fountain.
WHY are the edges of my bra charred???
Woke up in my own bed with a "New Years Eve 2011" bar bracelet on. Both of these things confuse me.
My dad caught me fucking in the pool last night. He proceeded to tell me I needed to "quiet things down" while this guys dick was still in me. Worst daughter ever.
he wouldn't lick chocolate syrup off of me because he's vegan. most awkward shower ever.
I shaved my legs and got a bikini wax, I don't care what I take home as long as it has a penis
How do I ask where the Jello shot cups are at Walmart without sounding like white trash?
What part of a retired stonemason dealing with your rock hard cock does not sound like you have the wrong number ?
My wife managed to convince me to not drink everclear by threatening to ban me from her vagina
So the pizza place just called me after an hour saying they don't have dough
If it makes u feel any better my dick feels pretty tender dude
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