5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
i just found five singles in my underwear?! im suspicious but delighted none the less
finally cleaned my dorm for the first time all year. bleach is awesome.
the only muscles i have these days is kegels
I can't believe I just compared my penis to a St. Bernard.
If you can't accept "I'm sorry I was mean to you" bjs from 19 year old girls, then who can you
Walk of shaming dressed as a zombie hunter. This hangover feels like the actual apocalypse.
I asked her politely not to touch my dick
Well it's official, last night I hooked up with the third girl from the apartment downstairs.
Dude that's a hat trick!
I know, I tossed my hat on the floor as I was walking out.
Did you know that if you chase vodka with cheap red wine it tastes exactly like college alcoholism?
Just checked out of walmart with a 30 pack of Budlight and a wiffle bat. Hello, Monday night.
It's not christmas until we're acting sober in front of grandma
he invited me over. we listened to jazz, smoked weed, then cerebrally fucked each other over a three hour game of chess
Two words: nipple clamps
Randomize
