I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
Can you believe The 5th Element didn't get best fight scene in 1997?! I'm still bitter. 12 years later.
Haha how do you remember that?
HOW COULD I FORGET?!
He's trying to kill me, one liver cell at a time. It's going to be a slow, but awesome death
I just got a flashback from Saturday night of you helping me wash my feet in the bar's bathroom.
I was fingering her, she was moaning, and we were singing Mulan
No our divorce decree will not have a blow job clause. Unless my alimony is greatly increased your bj's have been reduced to fantasy status.....
You may genuinely find a use for the siphon. But the bag of human hair is less likely.
There are several different types of life sentences in my purse right now.
Dude this deaf chick is totally hot, I just bought an apartment on boner ave
I went to the bathroom, came back, and my friend was sleeping leaning up against the stripper pole.
You asked the waitress what the corking fee would be on the Joose you smuggled into the restaurant.
That's the 3rd time in 6 months I woke up on the hallway floor using a towel as a blanket, no clue how I got there. At least back when I was still drinking I could blame something other than myself for that kind of shit.
You should go to AA meetings and warn people about the dangers of sobriety.
Yo this huge scar on my head from the car accident is truly a vag magnet. Probably because I'm telling people I was attacked by a mountain lion and killed it with my bare hands. But hey when life gives you lemons, you use them to get pussy
I'm tired, but I'm gonna go with "I watched the debate last night and part of my soul died"
I just made myself 3 peanut butter sammies because I was too hungry to watch porn
Randomize
