My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
is facebook stalking your hot therapist socially acceptable?
Dude, the cops never think it's as funny as you do.
She kept saying 'I love you' but i couldn't tell if she was talking to me or to her beer.
I just got this text "hi this is Julie, I met you last night in the bathroom. You asked me to text you and remind you that you ate an entire lime, because you figured your sober self in the morning would be confused."
She made me take my shoes off outside her room but she didn't make me wear a condom. I am confused.
He always takes me to get taco bell after we hook up in his car. It's sort of become a booty call tradition.
If he thinks that that is an acceptable way to ask me out he is out his goddamn ginger mindddddd.
I Pavlov-trained him by smacking him in the nuts anytime I caught him looking at another girl in public. To this day, he's afraid to break eye contact with me in a restaurant if a tall busty blonde walks in.
Every FB picture she has looks like it's from the POV of the guy she's blowing
In other news, I just threw up my burrito and am currently on all fours literally crawling back to my bed
Haha I wasn't coming anyway. I'm watching Snow White and don't want to put pants back on. Those are completely unrelated. Have a good night.
feeding cats lunchmeat on my kitchen floor. come pour me another shot.
He gave me a brownie at the beginning of class and now I can't feel my face.
Do you think Ashley had her twin sister tag in for our date? The sex was different and I think a mole was missing
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