Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
Dude. Fucked her last night. Fucked her this morning. went downstairs for water. took 18 pack of Coors Light instead and took it back to my gf's. Got a blow job from her. Drinking the beer on my deck now. Best Day ever.
i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
I don't have the urge to be a home-wrecker with these two. I think I've grown, don't you?
she was handing out condoms w/ her number on them...
i slept with him so i could steal the screens out of his sink faucets for my bowl when he went to sleep. not because he's funny.
I just got invited to party with a bunch of elderly lesbians I am in no position to offer life advice
If you can't accept me drawing a Santa hat on your penis then we can't be friends
As I was about to fuck him, he requested a moment of silence for Leonard Nimoy.
You know you're an upperclassmen when you go to a party with no makeup, wet hair, weed socks, and no shoes, take a shot ski, then leave
please tell dad to clear the porn off his tablet before he lends it to anyone from now on
And the next thing I knew I was blowing this random hot italian bartender with an uncircumcised penis in his work closet
we were running around the halls trying to bloodhound search out the source of the weed smell, but we ran into six other people doing the same thing, and they all said they assumed it was us.
she just kept pointing at the cows and calling them field penguins
What's an appropriate gift to bring to my boyfriend's wife's baby shower?
Shame?
Randomize
