if you don't start talking to me i'm gonna tell your gf that you said she tastes bad
I am spending my work day planning my weekend drinking schedule
I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
Are they hot? And are the slutty? These are my concerns for any wedding. You say yes, and yes, I will be your best man
I just want to point out that nothing makes my hickie/hangover more obvious than sleeping in a scarf and sunglasses. nothing.
It's a piss down the stairs of the hotel kind of night
Thanks for walking over, a conversation about David Bowie's dick as a muppet is exactly what my day was missing.
He snapchatted me his dick and he's circumcised....BRB going to hug his Mom
Not my type, but the penis looks fun.
We were sitting outside of the building and he literally just walked up with no pants on. This is the best college ever
I'm about to get my nails done. Would the polish name "meet me at the altar" be too straight forward for a first date?
tom claimed she had a star tattooed around her buttonhole. i am not prepared for this era of skankyness
About 98% sure I just walked by some dude jerking it in the library. I'm guessing his college experience isn't going as planned
I just heard a crying baby from out my apartment window and yelled SAME
He looks like Aladdin, and that's about all he's got going for him.
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