you'd think with how big her nose is she'd have a better smelling pussy..
im keeping my plan b box as a souvenir of my first halloween weekend in college
She's not depressed. She's just sober. It's like the same thing.
I just got a standing ovation when i made it to work on New Years Day. good thing?
why weren't you at the audition last night?
booty call before role call
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
A girl pulled up next to me at a stoplight just now, looked around for a second, and then changed her top, bra and all, before the light turned green. New. Hero.
I thought you should know that there is a scientific law stating that when there is booze, people talk about your dick.
Im calling him
was mistake calling. If you drunk dial someone you deserve to choke on a tubesock. Take the advice. Always remember
Hello Officers/Paramedics, judging by last night, my friend is dead. The money in his pockets is mine, he owed me. Please send me directions to whichever morgue/strip club for pick up.
Pretty sure at some point last night i said to myself "it'll be fun to completely lose my mind for a night"
Please don't buy a buttplug. It won't fill the empty space in your heart.
His premature ejaculation problem is getting old.
You guys are like the reason that ketamine is a controlled substance.
Where do you think your fantastically immense lady-boner for men in uniform comes from?
Randomize
