Dude ! Why is there vomit with whole pieces of sushi in the shower when the toilet is not more than 2 feet away ? btw you need to chew your food better,
I just walked through a room full of deaf people and farted i love deaf people
you were so high you were expressing yourself in action figures
While I was fucking her, they came in and served us both weed from a hookah. best. friends. ever.
So Ryan had to wash the dishes. His solution: take a shower with them. I'm never eating at his house again.
Don't use the things I tell you while drunk after the bruins won the cup against me
I'm pretty sure they had a hash wedding cake. I love college weddings.
I just texted him and asked him to keep some in case I need help sealing the deal.
Girl Scout cookies are like roofies for fat chicks.
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
Nothing brings people closer than bonding over tequila shots and running from campus security.
Oh no. Not her. Her personality clashes with mine in ways that would make me wanna beat myself with a stick.
pssssst. you dropped everyone else off and forgot about me. im in the backseat of your car still. can you please come back outside and either let me out or take me home?
The bros used their bong water as pong water but I walked in mid game and didn't know so they hit our first cup and I chugged it.
He said he didn't want to go down on me so I told him we were going to have an oral stalemate.
His Instagram is like a gay porn blog all of the sudden got conquered by the Mormon missionary that he is
Randomize
