Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
I just told a dude I hooked up with last night he was the pick of the litter.
they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
my bartender licked my nipple. never stay after hours
You wouldn't know anything about the tooth on ice in my freezer would you?
We invented "Diesel Bombs." They're supposed to be a bomb, but they come in a 20+ oz. glass and have a blackout record of 6 wins and 0 losses. Undoubtedly going to be the next Muhammed Ali of the drinking world.
I can hear her moaning. I'm on some random guy's counter. He wanted me to cuddle but I said I didn't know how.
I vaguely remember making out with his tattoo (?) and giving him an awesome massage and then I passed out on his floor. Shrug
There really needs to be a redbox for wine because I want some but too lazy to walk into a store
guys I just made $20 cause these random south african guys thought I wasn't wearing any underwear
The zombie version of you bit my friend's hand. No more zombie crawl for you. Not ever.
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
I don't know where you went, but if you're anywhere near the liquor, pour me another drink
We’ve discussed sex and dinner. Like chicken nuggets while doing it doggie and watching tv.
Randomize
