She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
just got high and bedazzled my bra. other than bleeding from the prongs life is so good.
Just had a handjob preempted by a huge bolt of static electricity leaping from her fingertip to my sack. I hate this time of year.
All I remember was after sex she kept trying to take pictures of my dick "for memories"
Omg just remembered. I tried to kidnap a dog.
It's not meant to be. I also just shot a turkey baster of gin into Nate's eye, so....
In other news I have discovered that grindr is the easiest way to get free meals
Totally uneven. One tiny pussy lip that almost didn't exist and one giant lip that unfurled liked 5 different times half way down her leg and could have been used to hoist the mainsail on a pirate ship.
Don't have sex in a tent there are so many opportunities for infections
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
I'm actually pretty sure the amount of alcohol I drank last night erased memories from other times in my life.
By the time I realized I was watching a Danish porno with muppets it was already too late
Joke’s on you. I got to talk to a furry about why nukes are bad and why musicals are good.
Just so you know, I choose to answer your bootytext tonight because it was the most creative.
Legit just looked at the gin bottle and said, “Aw fuck, I’m going to feel this in the morning.”
Randomize
