Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
you just can't say no to drugs on a mirrored table.
he is so annoying
so stop sleeping with him
yeah but he is so hot when i'm drunk
those 9 inches of man changed my life forever.
Opened my wallet to find a slice of ham with a phone number written on it in sharpie.
You know your in for a great weekend when you buy the booze already in crutches
Getting sick, pulled the filter off a camel crush and rolled it into my joint to clear my sinuses. If there were stoner awards, I'd receive one.
So, we bought a knight today. Nearly life size. Hes in the garage, so don't be startled.
Did we almost burn down the bar last night? I guess flaming shots were a bad idea.
Hung over and there is no way in the world I can make this mess look good today. Only solution is to stay drunk.
So I was putting on a condom and looked to my right to not make eye contact, she said did you just look at the American flag while putting that on. I said this one's for Team USA.
There's a girl passed out on the sidewalk at the parade. Its not even 10am. She gave candy to children saying it was ketchup. Still think I have a problem?
Next time you have him paint you an outfit so you can do you walk the street naked TAKE A SHOWER BEFORE YOU GET IN THE BED. MY sheets look like like an acid trip
I didn't know that all of his brothers would be hot and musical too. That's a dick move on behalf of biology.
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
Randomize
