there is this woman at the counter who looks identical to linda ellerbee. and she's grinning. COME. INSIDE. NOW.
If it makes you feel better, I doubt anything could survive in your uterus.
I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
We had on the same team jersey so at the time it made sense to hook up.
Duh.
He just dragged himself across the floor on his back claiming to be "the swiffer" help
He was bigger soft than my ex was hard. A gold medal rebound.
He's just so adorable. And I don't want to fuck someone who's adorable.
We got the DJ into it too! "If there are any dudes into other dudes out there, my man mark is looking to get pounded. Buy him a drink stat!"
I'm not gay but if a lesbian wants to eat my box out I'm not gonna say no to someone who knows what they're doing.
It would be awesome if I knew whose teeth these were in my pocket
I just slipped on ice and peed on my pea coat. There's a pun there but I'm too sad to make it
Please don't tell me that blonde guys name is Matthew I won't be able to fuck a guy with my brothers name
Is it wrong that I get drunk and let him eat me out then fall asleep? He offers me so much and yet I do nothing. I feel like a republican.
I got a hand job after work. Remember those? From the 90s...
He's gonna turn my vagina into the Sahara desert
Randomize
