Apparently i was the first person to introduce her to her clitoris. Needless to say...they hit it off great
he drunkenly confessed to whacking off before coming over so the sex'd be longer. this one's a keeper
Please return the baby Jesus and sheep to the quad
Europeans suck. I just gave him head and somehow i am the one paying for the coffee
We tried to line dance with everyone but it turned into drunken stumbling and attempting to grind on random frat boys. I feel that this might turn into an every Thursday thing.
This guy just asked me to stab his arm with my keys to make sure he wasn't dying.
He made me write my name on his wall in crayon so he'd be able to remember it in the morning
Want to come over? I'm getting stoned and watching Netflix and making s'mores over a candle in my room
Bud light lime after 12 shots of vladdy is like frolickin in a meadow of sweet flavor
OK. i'm going to add "riddle me this, brodawg" to the list of things i'm never gonna say to my boss again while i'm high.
We get drunk and make out in different places. Is that what love is?
I know it's like I wanna bring somebody fun who I haven't drunkenly expressed my feelings for. Or hooked up with. It's a struggle.
Sending dick pics while driving a car going 80 in the rain at night to a married woman? Why hello 2014
I always can't wait to see you but when there's also an opportunity to get naked it elevates to an entirely different level
HE WAS CUMMING IN THAT DICK PIC
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