He's telling me stories about how he made out with a 14 yr old when he was 22. I'm going home.
You know, sometimes I seriously doubt your commitment to sparkle motion.
I can only be a whore so many days outta the week.
Samesies
He shit in the bushes next to the pool at the Venetian, after throwing up in the hallway. You really can do anything in Vegas.
I've grown up since last year. I don't give blow jobs as birthday presents anymore.
he's like a stage 5 clinger and he won't even fuck me. he has to be gay. my personality isn't really THAT great.
I'm pretty sure blacking out is a coping mechanism.
you were upstairs in your room looking out your window and saw him puking in your bushes outside. you then proceeded to open the window and sing Come To My Window
they had to take the Corona's out of the fish tank because they wouldn't fit with the mini replica of the roman coliseum in there. so we drank the Corona's. does beer have an expiry date?
Well, we broke up and instead of putting my shit out on the curb like a normal person, she fucking donated everything to Goodwill. So now I have to pay two dollars for one of my own t shirts.
Oh yeah I remember when I first saw Kyler's balls. If there's anything high school swim prepared me for, it's the amount of testicles I would see here
After a while I was so wet that I started crying. HE MADE ME SO HORNY I WEPT.
He somehow always manages to get me naked within 5 minutes of being together. It's like fucking witchcraft.
How dare you not respond to me after opening up a picture of my bare breasts
I have decided that I would still fuck Harrison Ford even though he is old as fuck now. Do you think it would kill him?
Most likely. But I bet he'd do a bang up job of it before he died.
He absolutely would.
Randomize
