If the pens lose tonight I'm gonna drive to Detroit and burn 8 mile to the ground.
Actually I may do that regardless. Probably get my own holiday.
Kinda wish I banged him. I need the exercise.
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
Even my psychiatrist thinks I should fuck the married guy.
This is how I ended up being the slutty friend isn't it?
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
No, absolutely not. If you see that cunt, throw confetti or eggs at her.
That's a pretty extreme jump from confetti to eggs
So he's compensating for a really small penis. Either that or he's a drug lord.
So I have to send you an email about my weekend, heretofore referred to as The Perfect Weekend. Wherein I have lots of awesome sex with a guy with THE MOST AMAZING BODY.
I look forward to this email. I will respond with, Condoms and Creepers: The Adventures of Online Dating.
She said she had a surprise for me and sent me a video of her having sex with some fat dude. It was a mood killer
80% sure the drag queens carried her home
We didn't mean to put a petting zoo in the elevator.
ps. i have two very important words to sum up my night
which are?
library sex.
She woke up with her hand super glued to the fridge....how the hell am I Supposed to get her off??
We'll handle his penis the same way we handle day drinking; together.
Randomize
