a guy named alex was hitting on my friend tonight. he doesnt work on wind turbines tho.
I wish they had nachos that got you drunk
they just dont make restraining orders like they used to.
She laid down on my bed and played "I want you to want me" on my laptop. subtle.
You told me you were allowed to keep eating butter because it had just passed midnight and you were on the next day's daily fat servings
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
I don't think going to Relay for Life and painting our faces while everyone stares at us is a sufficent late night after the bars.
She just gave me a free latte.
Correction. She just have you a frothy, creamy path to that vagina.
I'm driving up the street and can't tell if my ears are actually about to pop or not.
A solid 8.5 on the baked meter, I need to stop.
It's like if a cloud had tits and you laid on them.
Is it a coincidence that the reminder on my phone to take my birth control is "I'm ready to party" from Bridesmaids?
You're breaking my sexual little heart
Sext me about skeletons
Do you have feelings for this penis?
I made soup. Now I'm having post soup making wine. I had pre soup making wine also.
Randomize
