they say celebs die in threes. leave it to billy mays to throw in one extra COMPLETELY FREE!
Have u ever been so drunk that pissing urself felt like a better idea than walking to the bathroom? I entered those waters last night
The smartest thing I've heard Obama do is call Kayne West a jackass
Just so you know, the bottle of red gatorade is NOT GATORADE. It is definitely someone's puke. I hope nobody else makes the same mistake I did.
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
I don't know what I should tell you tell you. I don't want to encourage you to dye my dog.
Ive never seen him vulnerable before. He just had surgery and looked so cute on his crutches. like a little baby bird with a broken wing. that i wanted to nurse back to health. with my vagina
He ate shrooms at 9:30, said, "see you later," and left. I am alone on New Years.
Found your counterpart from cali. Walked into the bar we were in with milk and a donut, ordered a beer and said anything his group wanted was on his tab....dangerous
I no longer exist. I have transformed into a puddle of sex.
He texts me "what are you wearing" in the middle of the workday, so naturally I assume he's kidding and respond "the blood of my enemies" #foreveralone
she has that "i will punish you like your mom did" vibe, i think guys like that.
The fake number she gave me was for Pappa John's. Now I have a large pepperoni on the way.
Oh also we fucked while one of the old Rudolph movies was playing on tv so it was festive
My neighbor was my D.A.R.E officer and I feel like I've defeated him by smoking weed outside everyday
Randomize
