We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
you were sitting on the floor cleaning up your own puke and telling my mom she should hire you as a maid.
Breaking personal boundaries is my trademark
Today might be the day that I legitimately throw up in my saxophone.
Did you rob me and blame it on the strippers?
And as cleavage season comes to a close, so blooms a new season of yoga pants. And the people rejoiced.
He looked like he was trying to woo a lady version of himself by playing goblin music on his guitar.
Apparently at 2 AM I decided to let the world know about my newfound love for elephants
He tried to stop traffic by waving his half eaten pizza at cars.... And we were stupid enough to cross .....??!!!
Amazon.com "suggested" I buy both nipple clamps and opera gloves.
Hey! I need booze. And penises. And a lot of mistakes that I will regret in the morning.
Heat not working dressed like an eskimo. A real one with a ski sock on my junk
And the sexual frustration is like I'm wearing a damn horcrux
I really need to stop sending pussy pics if I'm going to be running for state representative in November
After 25 beers and 3 shots my best friend thought it would be an amazing idea to get his dick pierced. We are on our way.
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