FB needs to have a relationship status called...screwing my roommates bf..linking their names would be an easier to tell her!
did you hook up at the wedding?
No but I jerked off on the hotel sheets. I wanted to get my moneys worth.
When i woke up this morning she asked me 'when did you first find out that you could see the future.' I gotta stop drinking.
Would we rather be in rehab with the drug addicts or the girls with low self esteem?
What kind of flower means "I want to have unprotected sex with you, preferably from behind?" because thats the message I'd really like to send on Valentines Day
Good to know: if a hot girls asks to go back to my place, she probably just needs to vomit all over my bathroom
It's amazing how much better one feels once you put something in your vagina.
She is just riding on my slutty coat tails.
This morning two of his housemate threw confetti over me, started singing and handed me a make shift trophy out of cereal boxes and beer cans that said 'Harry's Virginity' on it. Fucking brilliant!
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
Btw...I puked in my hand last night and threw it on the floor. Don't let me do tequila ever again.
Being single/not living at home sucks. All I want is someone I can force to pick up my pizza for me so I don't have to talk to anyone.
He was so aggressive it felt like he was giving my boob a root cannal
I refuse to believe this is a lapse in my dick hunting skills. It's gotta be the gods playing a game.
It was just a hint of nipple. I kept it classy!
Do you even hear yourself?
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