I'm going to shit on something weird... I can't wait
Regardless, you never quit out of your interenet. You left your porn on the living room comp. Then you passed out four feet from the chair with your hand still down your pants. We decided that we should go back to her place instead. Worlds best wingman.
you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
Well I put her head right through the headboard. Thank god the room was under her name.
It was weird. Like "Mom, Dad, here's a guy who knows my orgasm face".
I've never been to a "going away to jail" cookout. do we bring a present?
Why does my jaw hurt?
I may have punched you.
He has what he calls a "Ben Franklin". It's a pubic hairdo based on the man himself; long on the sides and bald in the middle.
I started having a bad trip because I closed my eyes and got lost in a forest of patterns and I knew my mom would be upset.
too late I already started a fight with someone named luscious
Whenever I'm hungover I try to stay in public as much as possible, hoping to be a cautionary tale to children. It's a public service, really.
logically I know i should probably study somewhere outside my dorm room, but if I do that then I cant drink and smoke half as much while i study
Only great wives bring your dope to you when you are at the Cardiologist
When do you estimate your next shower will be? Several people have asked.
Dude. Don't do acid and go to Disney on ice. Hear my warnings. That snow monster will fuck your shit up.
Randomize
