I'M GETTING MARRIED!
YOU'RE STILL MARRIED!
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
at the hospital. the stripper fell on his face when she was trying to grab the dollar bill out of his mouth with her ass. broken nose for sure.
There are some sad choices of men in the ER. That one was missing teeth. Not the place to find a husband.
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Vodka tonic time....wish me luck!
Go for it my man. I'm saving my shit show night for tomorrow. Gonna make it a big one just to let the entire bar know why I'm single
When Pony by ginuwine plays I pretty much just grind on the nearest penis.
The last thing I remember was wearing a sombrero and trying to do cartwheels in the club
You did one successfully. Then smashed into the wall
We cuddled after till the morning. Then he woke up sober... and straight.
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
After all this I still can't spell gonorrhoea without autocorrect
Currently sifting through all the dick pics and nudes for a picture of my dad and I to post on social media for Father's Day...
Fuck my life he IS a stripper, Ive been sleeping with a stripper named Phoenix. damnit, I knew the sex was too good
We are gonna play a game I like to call what the fuck is in my pocket
"Plot twist... I'm straight."
I am really drunk and also a zombie.
Randomize