I'm half single.
Please tell me it's the bottom half.
I've been reduced to Capt. Morgan and Golden Girls reruns. Ugh.
so Brent and I ordered you a drink then realized you don't live here. I drank it.
She told me she cured her bulemia by popping hydrocodone after she ate. that way she would be rewarded for not puking. I like the way she thinks
I just witnessed someone getting head in the parking garage. Don't ever tell me Baylor is too conservative again.
You couldn't hold yourhead up but you managed to unzip my zipper. That's skill..
I'm sober enough to realize she looks like a man, but drunk enough to do it anyways
Talking about the game in the closet with a banana wearing sunglasses.
I'm starting to blur the boundary between reasonable senioritis and self-destruction. Somewhat-openly hittin the flask in 11am class
A kind stripper put a blanket over me last night
I can feel my pain tolerance has shot up right along with my libido
Netflix, eggnog, and bed? Maybe some hand stuff?
Before consuming her Waffle House she did a few deep breaths and cleared the table to "prepare herself for this"
I just did a bump with my mom so I’d sober up for Black Friday shopping
I have to close one eye, because I don't wanna see two movies, I only want to see one.
Randomize
