I think I saw a glimmer of recognition, but she must not have been able to make me out through all of her whorishness.
How was dinner with ur grandparents?
I was really blazed and scared they'd catch me, so when they asked about my day I was concentrating really hard on not saying smoking that instead I honestly said "Well, I had sex on your pool table, Nana."
the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
He told me he was ok to drive home. Then I found him face-planted in the parking lot.
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My alcohol tolerance is way too high for this paycheck.
i just found out the cashier has a picture of my junk in her phone.
Woke up with his dick on the side of my face, it's like he passed out mid-mushroom stamp.
You found me in the back room alone eating someone else's whole birthday cake with my hands then asked me if you could join.
Ultimate Fighter Idea. You and I both have unprotected sex with the same girl in the spam of days. Whoever the child belongs to, wins and that child is the ultimate ultimate fighter.
How high are you?
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What would you do if your asshole suddenly made the sound of a sheep duck baa/quacking the words kill me
You are so incredibly one of a kind, it's astounding
i thought you were just a really comfy body pillow until i sobered up. oops.
After we got done he told me to hold his penis because it helps him fall asleep
It was ok until his mom walked in and asked if he turned on the crock-pot...
Listen all I know is that mistakes were made and she stole the car and drove half an hour for food at 4 am
He has the fingertips of a God
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