do you ever lay in the bath and watch the blood hit the water?
EWW. Don't discuss your period with me. You can go shave your back now.
It was weird to see you drinking wine out a glass instead of a red cup today
All I know is it had something to do with a plunger and tuna salad. I'm done. I'm quitting my job.
I woke up and we were making out. So the good news is that after two years off the market, I haven't lost a step. I'm picking up girls in my sleep now.
The gym has a pool
my gym membership just went from "way to get in shape" to "place to go swim when I'm high"
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
You had your dick do your apologizing for you last night. Apology accepted.
I'm reffing a fight in Fight Club I don't even know what I'm doing
she just announce I'm david copper field and tried to shove a napkin down my throat
Then I'll go home and you two can do whatever two same sex heterosexual soul mates do
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
I was playing 'If You Had To Fuck One or Die' with the old composite pictures with a guy in the bathroom line. They were all pretty ugly so I go "You can tell this is a lower tier frat"......turns out the guy was a brother
So I almost broadcasted the porn from my phone to the boardroom chrome cast
Sunburned by dick at the nude beach. Bad. She tried to blow me. But. I. Just. Can't. Saddest day of my life.
Instead of.being an intelligent and mature adult and dealing with my feelings I chose to get hammered and fuck flounder
Eh it happens
Randomize
