idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
Life lesson: when driving and throwing up, choose a paper bag over plastic. Fuck my life.
My brother and I both agreed that your boobs are fake.
He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
I just don't understand how my upright asian catholic roommate is getting more than me.
Jenna and Ryan are ranting and raving about child custody. MY VASECTOMY SMILES.
he rubbed his balls on my face to wake me up.. this friends with benefits thing is getting out of hand.
Its official, drinking for 15 hours counts as a suicide attempt
Of course he did. He is like the oprah winfrey for vaginas. Always giving that shit away.
Please make the clown in the corner stop judging me. I mean he's the one with paint on his face. I don't need him judge judying me.
I don't know what possessed you to do that, but you have to give the stripper more money before you try to check her oil or they are going to throw us out every time you do that.
So, this year for my birthday, want to get rip-roaring schmammered and watch my episode of my super sweet 16? We can do lines off my tiara.
He crawled outside into the bushes to throw up. He's just laying there now but he says he'll be ready to come home if we just give him five
Why is it that when I sustain a serious injury people are more concerned with my level of inebriation than my personal safety?
He started to lick a stick of butter and was calling it Jennifer.
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