it sounded like he was fisting a can of crisco.
what the fuck a piece of candy corn just came out of her nose
Sorry about blasting sandstorm on a loop when i left for work this morning. But maybe this will teach you to not come home trashed on a tuesday night with some chick and have loud sex till 4 in the morning. The walls are thin, remember?
Just sucked my third dick in the past twelve hours. I must want AIDS.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
high as fuck. watching parent trap with my mom. keep missing my mouth.
Printed off fake 'Producer' Sundance badges for us. Pretty sure they double as free passes for getting laid by 'actresses'. Testing this theory tonight.
Still want to know how you got back last night? Two Campus Security Officers carried you in around 430. Your pants were around your ankles.
I hate Sailor Jerry.
Please God, is a penis possibly making it to vagina town to much to ask for tonight.
You don't want any of I have. Seriously. Its 80 proof rum that was 8 bucks for a liter. I'm afraid
I'm sure your liver is writing out a will as we speak
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I based a lot of our friendship on the fact that I thought you were crying from feeling so sad for me when I got crabs. I'm not sure if we can ever be as close now.
There are five fire trucks here and needless to say my booty call left so come back home whenever you like
I'm gonna forget you just shared your personal blowjob aesthetic with me and move on
and please, if you feel the urge to call me crying tomorrow night, do so. i will be home bored and sober.
You can have my vag. Its useless without you.
I am playing in the snow in my bunny outfit. GET OVER HERE
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