I just realized i haven't had sex in 2009. oh man thats embarrassing.
We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
White Russians with skim milk. Fuck I'm healthy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he couldn't find his key, so we just had sex on his parent's porch while we waited for his mom to get home.
A girl limped into my class 15 minutes late wearing sunglasses, leggings, and a kiss me im irish shirt. She sat down and took her glasses off and im pretty sure she only had one eye's makeup still on. Someone had a great st pattys day.
Just saw a drunk guy marching down the strip with a garden rake. I feel compelled to follw him
My dad caught me fucking in the pool last night. He proceeded to tell me I needed to "quiet things down" while this guys dick was still in me. Worst daughter ever.
I'm worried my skin won't stretch enough to handle this boner. Then what?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She had a glow in the dark pastie on her forehead the last time I saw her. That should help you find her.
I love getting kicked out of places. Its like winning a little league game
Dude, we got to the strip club as they were closing, and you starting crying because, and I quote, "This is the closest to birthday sex I'm gonna get."
Nobody likes ball hair. Not even gay dudes
Just remembered that I got laid thanks to my glow in the dark Batman belt buckle. Need to wear it more often.
Maybe for you. You don't have to clean the melted butter off the stove. I LOST THE SPECIAL SEASONINGS.
Randomize