She can't keep using her latex allergy as an excuse to go bareback with everyone.
Im forcing mysellf to pee so i can fit more margaritas in me...
the last thing i remember was trying to convince him to call over his girlfriend so we could have a threesome
it's not a party till someone uses the fire extinguisher.
I don't remember anything other than how good it felt when I peed my pants.
He's having sex with his gf again. Every thump of his bed against the wall is insulting to our one night stand.
im calling her cock vulture from now on
You just kept holding your breath for a really long time and calling it lung excersizes.
Just don't let me fall on anything that can be broken. Unless its a dick
I woke up to him yelling "WHO SLEEPS WITH A BEER IN THEIR HAND?!?" this of course, startled me awake and made me spill the aforementioned beer. So I guess the a answer is- not this girl, not anymore. Asshole
I just won a riveting game of "who can drink the most vodka out of a hollowed out watermelon". Fucking New Yorkers.
You kept asking the bartender if you could "buy a dollar".
please god let this picture I just uploaded not have my vagina in it
Drunk me says 72 hours of Mexican Viagra and room service.Sober me says we stopped being lovers for a reason after the last lost weekend.
I would but he’s not speaking to me because I put ketchup in his socks.
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