who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
Three words: puerto rican gang bang
So, apparently I made everyone omelets last night. Even when I'm drunk, I'm still a trophy wife.
This guy just showed us his webbed feet to prove that his son was actually his son
i licked icing off his dick. in front of his sister.
You're like my zumba instructor for alcoholism right now
I'm sure me singing - rather loudly - "fuck me in the back seat" last night didn't help either.
I almost itched my nose with the lit end of a cigarette. Help.
I looked the guy across the room straight in the eyes and said, "If you were any closer to me, we'd be making out right now."
remember when I lost my virginity and said I could see myself becoming a sex addict?? Well I'm pretty sure that time has come
Well yeah. Plus. My dick looks awful. So I would need to do some extreme makeover dick edition before even starting something so ridiculous.
She was blacked out on the couch MASTURBATING and whispering to her boyfriend...who wasn't there. I yelled her name and she didn't even pause.
No no. Thank you. Killed multiple birds with one penis.
I'm totally picking out my shrooming outfit and blankets right now
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