Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!
Ah I wish I was there to nurse you then clean up your piss-filled water bottles
for some reason the bedside piss missed the water bottle today
So I called her out for all the gossip she does and she's like "you do the same, bitch"
So I was like "Im classy like the Countess, youre just a bitch like Kim."
Kudos on the Interstate Housewife metaphor.
I just farted. And everybody around me is looking at the fat girl to my left. I win.
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he asked me if i "normally slept like that" because i was curled up in a ball facing the wall. then he told me that i woke up in the middle of the night and said "oh my god. i forgot you were here." how did he not understand that i didn't want him in my bed.
Are you still giving blowjobs?
Who is this?
I know i'm the slutty cousin, but be honest. have you ever got your nose ring caught on a guy's zipper?
He grabbed onto my boobs while slipping on ice then proceeded to drag me down with him I'm not predicting head in his future
He ended up walking out of his bedroom and told me to look at the nonexistent fire he was holding in his hand. Im upset I didn't take those shrooms.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
wanna tell me why theres a glass of water stuffed with tamptons in the freezer?
Alright, I can go by eventually,, I don't wanna lose a second pair of shoes this semster from blacking out...
Either I think of sex like a man, or all the men in Vegas are women.
We are making a pool on how long he stays sober this time you want in?
last night we watched this really loud chick try and pick up this smoking french guy who's english was sooo bad. she finally pointed at her beer and then her vagine
gross
like you've never done an interperative dance for sex, please
Theres a woman here with grey hair that im pretty sure i would have sex with
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