If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.
yeah well we're currently on the phone and she's telling me about how much she misses me and all this shit and i muted myself and i'm watching porn.
i just threw up a quarter into the urinal in the bathroom at the bar. everybody else stared then cheered. that drunk
Dude..masurbate with cocoa butter lotion..its like cocoa pebbles just gave me a hand job
When you get home we need to compare our schedules and set up masturbation slots. I'm scares of you walking in on me. Again.
you wanted the guy to gift wrap the condoms
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
Yeah, half my ass was burnt and I was missing a shoe. I'm blaming you for the shoe.
I'm pretty sure the guy in front of me at Walmart doesn't have good plans. It's one am he is buying a flash light and black bandanna
i've created a new STD.
I'll give you some choices for what to get me for Christmas. 1.You naked. 2.You naked 3.You naked.
Then. Omg he showed me A CARD TRICK AFTER WE CAME
Next time I take edibles I'm getting chipotle to cater the event
I'm shotgunning a meatball sub and watching flip or flop. i have reached a new level of singledom.
Randomize
