I had a disgustingly explicit dream last night involving myself and lil wayne.
we saw you sitting at the door of the dorm trashed, wrapped in DANGER tape with a stolen balloon around your wrist
At best buy, little boy just crawled into my stall while i was taking a shit
Does puking on your bio final mean I can retake it?
He's fat, has man boobs, and is uncircumsized. I feel like I won the last woman on earth prize.
This is one of the fundamental differences between you and I. If I found meat in a plastic bag, I wouldn't put it in my mouth.
Once two people had broken bones it had become a bulk hospital trip so we took the party bus
he has this weird thing where he watches me pee
Just saw a dude dressed as captain america driving down the highway. He saluted me.
She said she's different now I guess anytime you get a bible tatt it automatically cancels out all the whoring you did for 10 years
A dude just looked at me like my drunk swaying was corrupting his progeny DUDE YOUR KID HAS A MULLET YOU'VE ALREADY RUINED HIM
I think i just made eye contact with his roommate... while doing reverse cowgirl. Yup i have no shamee
Bro, that'd be the third dick I've taken down in the office.
He had a tattoo of the Batman logo around his asshole. I noped right the hell out of there.
Do thigh high boots and a ball gag count as a costume?
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