I am now the proud owner of a 10-12 year old's Optimus Prime costume from Walmart. Tomorrow is going to be a good day.
What?? I'm covered in blood at the hospital, I atleast deserve a pic of someones boobs
I just hotboxed my laundry basket.
remind me in the morning to get the random kid out of the closet and to clean the pudding off the wall
Get here now. This is going to be possibly my most dangerous idea ever, and I'm the guy who challenged a hobo to a breakdance fight.
If we could never, ever tell mike i pissed in his closet, that would be really really great
he spent like 10 minutes trying to convince us that he was throwing up in the bushes on purpose in order to cut weight for wrestling
I think that's mostly how we became friends.
Well that, and your desire to put your penis in me.
I asked the full emergency room who else was there because of homecoming and every single person raised their hand
So I pull up to an apartment complex and immediately felt like I was here to get stoned.
Lmfao I'm not trying to have a pissing contest over acid with my mom.....
The squirrels are partying on my roof again. Now they're just rubbing it in that I'm home alone on a Saturday night and they're having orgies.
Saved a second guy who was crying/on the verge of wigging out. Just call me the drug whisperer.
yeah well, its not like my astrogynecology class is teaching me what i need to know
im almost 90% sure there is no such thing as astrogynecology.
I just found your shirt hanging in a tree 4 blocks from the party...in the opposite direction of your house. where are you going?
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