Strawberries are so good its weird that food is growable
Can we please just celebrate being alive this far into the school year and just get drunk?
Just found puke on my backpack while sitting in class. It's like this weekend won't leave me alone.
This is your monthly public service announcement that sexual services will temporarily cease from Wednesday night to Monday. Please plan accordingly and have a nice day =D
At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
I wish I could just hang out in ERs.
I need a new pic for your contact id. Because your boobs popping up when I'm having dinner with my grandma or, ya know, when kids have my phone isn't so good.
you got coffee,laid,and a sandwich. that never happens when I work
Can I tell you that I just incorporated the spice girls in my sexting and you not judge me
Do not ever get that redhead chem major high. Gave her a magic brownie and she sat in a corner and literally cried about organic chem. Never again.
This weekend was amazing, 4 confirmed pukings, 2 cops, 3 hookers, one photographed t-bagging of the groom, and a night in an illegal gambling house.
do nipples grow back?
Don't come in. My door to my bathroom won't close because of the table and I'm pooping
Classy
I am going to constantly be reminded of you for the next couple of days because of how sore my vagina is. It's just the price I have to pay.
Randomize
