yeah for some reason your penis didn't fit in my mouth the other day
so remember that time i slept over and came home in the morning to realize i left my vibrator next to the faucet for parents and brothers to see? this is worse
pretty sure mid blowjob I told him I needed to call you and ask you if this was whore-ish. He hid my phone from me.
Oh I also wanted to thank you for leaving your list of porn sites on the coffee table. Very entertaining.
For future references, orgasms clear sinuses.
knew i was gonna lose at a shoe or be bleeding at some point. and both happened within 20 mins.
I feel like a fucking princess. Like an heiress of a kingdom of drugs.
She screams like she's just fallen out of a helicopter when she cums.
and by clear my head i mean get drunk and cry myself into oblivion.
some girl at the bar told me my beard would tickle every inch of her body till she joy puked her face off.... that was so random and odd i just had to buy her a drink for having the guts to say it to me. WTF
Multi-day drunkenness is to binge drinking as black diamonds are to skiing. They're tough and confusing and you hurt afterwards, but you did it and you probably got an alright story along the way.
I'm straight up riding in the back of my truck in a bean bag chair right now. Feet propped up and four loko in hand. Glorious.
I traded him cumming in my face for a year for a Disney annual pass. One giant leap back for feminism, one small step for the adult child Disney fan.
He told me I remind him of his ex girlfriend but in a better more advanced way..
Serious question, on a scale of go for it to what the fuck are you thinking, what's me going to a monk or any religious official and saying "baptize me daddy" in a serious voice?
Randomize
