everything is bigger in texas. Including my drinking problem.
theres a boy scout troop on my plane. right now theyre playing wilderness games. let me just tell you how excited i am to hit on all of them
Never let Scott cook bacon and eggs at 2am while drunk. You should have seen the flames.
there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
So I think I just got a job offer from the guy I used to blow. See, networking pays off.
I have no idea where I am, where my pants are, there is cheese stuck to my ass.. Why do I have your phone?
shot for shot with some guy twice your age to prove Detroit hustles harder then you left with him. We're tracking you
Speaking of testosterone. I saw a girl with a moustache thicker than one I can grow last night...
I literally just wiped coffee off of the corner of my mouth with my boob because my hands were full. Thought youd be proud. Good morning!
yep you were here saturday. if you woke up smelling like vanilla i can explain.
No. More. Tequila. Even the hot dog guy felt bad for me and you know that guy has seen some crazy shit.
Please come home, i don't want to feel like basket garbage girl but I'm in your alleyway and not sure how to change that.
Come to find out, there is a place where binge drinking and aggressive head butting is completely appropriate. In a mosh pit, Travis is just a regular dude!
lost her for two hours. she was banging a russian guy in her car in the parking lot. he told her she was majestic.
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
I don't want to resort to having sex with people that actually like me.
Randomize
