He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
Found her laying down in a booth in iHop. She's a keeper.
He bought me flowers. The card with it said: Sorry I cant get you off. I will try harder.
Doing "bucket stands" with buckets of margarita. Don't tell me it's not a good idea.
Is it too much to ask that he stop calling me 'titty fuck' in public?
Does Vicodin go better with white or red wine?
Writing a love song to planned parenthood. what rhymes with "don't have AIDS"
I got rejected. By another girl. At a red light. In front of seven shirtless cyclists in the middle of the night. How is that normal?!?
Do you remember using the vicegrip to demonstrate how wide your penis is?
Sorry I couldn't reference you in my facebook quote. I will redirect any likes and comments straight to my blowjob efforts this week.
If you sleep with him again I'll have you spayed
I was intimate with him for twenty minutes and will be intimate with shame for twenty years.
Something I can get at drive through, boobs out, don't want to get out of the car
Who in their right mind would frost a cake with their butt?
Congrats, you are the first person our bartender ever met that actually needed wheeled out of a bar in a wheelchair. He said you were his hero.
Randomize
