First night home from college and I already forgot that walking around nearly naked with my laptop open to smut porn isn't acceptable. Sorry, mom.
Wasted at the beach. Toasting underage, overdeveloped girls. God bless 'em.
The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
And then he asked the cop "shall i shut off the lady gaga?" as he was being frisked.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
but there are maragaritas for $3 so that was all i needed to hear
Drunk. I slept-stripped.
By myself.
She's "threw gas on the fire to put it out" drunk. Come retrieve ur gf. Ps she smells like burnt hair
Fuck you for setting me up with the guy from the Nickelback cover band
Payback for not stopping me from fucking the guy in the wookie costume
Aw don't be embarrassed. It was all good fun! We've all been there. You can't come to vegas and NOT get a little alcohol poisoning. That's like going to church and not praying.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have this rep as a wingman for a reason. I'm like a poon caddy. "You might want to use a 9 iron on this hole. "
Hi I haven't talked to you since you bought legal marijuana-are you still stoned?
Stumbled across a pregnancy test in my closet. Oh, the freshman year flashbacks..
If it involves notarization or the Misfits, I am up to date. Anything else, I know fuck-all.
For real his Facebook page says he studied "sexual arts" at some random college I've never heard of. You've been warned.
First day of school is awesome. I get to meet my students and figure out which of their mothers I’ I’m going to bang
Randomize