Ummmm I went to see who was upstairs, he was the only one in his room so we had sex while the travel channel played in the background.
Oh good. Romantic. Still, I'm jealous of the sex.
Probably not, since he made me promise not to tell anyone it only lasted ten seconds.
Definitely got drunk and sent her a literal picture of my asshole. I titled it " you"
Things are going great. I have tons of beer, margaritas, and theres an inflatable swan in the mix.
we went to get a refill in his room and ended up having sex and passing out. then he woke me up with sex and gave me a beer for breakfast. i never want this to end
How long is a courtesy make out supposed to last??
And dont tell me its his job to cockblock me just because he's my boyfriend.
so far we have 6 big wheels and 10 boxes of wine for the tour de franzia. team drunkslut is favored to win the yellow jersey.
I think ppl see us as an unstoppable drunken force
Should we buy the taco bell before hand? Not having taco bell on Quattro de mayo isn't a risk I'm willing to take
Last I saw, they went for a smoke and only one came back. He passed out outside. I'm glad he's only 120lbs. I left him on the rug still. My mom is gonna be pissed.
We both work at 8am and I have to shower but my roommate is passed out on our bathroom floor with the door locked. Merry Christmas.
You were throwing cups at people in the basement, yelling at them to get out of your swamp.
got a free grilled cheese. Didn't even have to talk about Jesus
Recliner chair sex has moments of worry....just don't.
I have had my dick inside of entirely too many people at this wedding in order for me to be the groom. Please give me a swift kick in the dick to wake me up from this nightmare
Randomize
