I just woke up to a lawnchair covered in lipstick. I'm wearing red lipstick. What happened and is the tequila?
We basically counted to 3 and then dumped each other.
The dean held back my hair as I was puking after graduation. That means so much more than a diploma and a handshake.
I wish the inside of the tampon box said "CONGRATULATIONS YOUR NOT A MOTHER!"
I just got a high school volleyball teams practice cancelled because I slept with the head coach through their practice time.
Its... i dont even know. theres lots of rap music and i cant find my shoes
I mean it was like cry my eyes out or masturbate in my moms bathroom.
Is it true if I say your name three times, you'll appear and whore everything up?
You realize we were screaming in the car about our apartment next year because we can "bring home randoms whenever we want" and "stare at each other from our door ways"
You were fine, but your knee injury definitely came from interpretive dancing like a gay fairy with lead wings all around the Mission St BART. Everyone thought you were on drugs.
I went to her house she had a kid pool in her living room watching the vacation channel drinking rum out of the bottle saying" life is what you make it. Mines a vacation!!!"
Also the girl beside me smells like she's been in a deep fryer.
So now I'm just going to brush my teeth, get high, and go to sleep. Like an adult
She's throwing a party for a guy that just got out of rehab?
My life is a random series of events connected only by bottles of Seagram's 7
Randomize
