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You were right, I'm so drunk and I want to eat the shit out of my vanilla cupcake candle it smells delish
Experience is the best teacher
I'm wearing a childsize birthday hat and a bib. I am the def of sex appeal rite now
matt is drinking blue powerade and it looks like he has hypothermia. i can't take this kid anywhere.
My cat puked at the same time as me. Makes me feel better about myself, except he can stand and I can't.
I just saw what sperm look like swimming around. I'm not happy with what you've put in my stomach.
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
if youre pregnant and ruin my spring break i'll never forgive you.
Do you know how hard it is to write about pediatric crohn's when we're trying to figure out the keg situation for graduation?
I'm soaked in champagne. I'm eating oatmeal from mcdonalds tonight was glorious
you were trying to control your nosebleed while having someone hold your four loko while you drank it through a straw. all at the same time. that is commitment.
Like lay upon bear skin rugs, drink brandy and reminisce of the yesteryear's before a majestic fire place? Because those are my plans.
getting up at 8am to start drinking seemed like a much better idea before I had to wake up at 8am
If he comes over tomorrow, im answering the door naked. Simple as that.
That bar is one yeast infection away from total annihilation.
Bring the pizza ill bring the boundaries we can cross
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