Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
Somehow I managed to make my Dunkin Donuts uniform look slutty. And I'm not even wearing hoops.
His fingers had 12 years of piano lessons behind them. my ex has been put to shame by a finger
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We were both halfway out the window trying to give each other high fives over the roof while the dude was going 150.
she wouldn't play beer pong with me unless I took off the rollerskates.
you tried to fill your inhaler with vodka
A white limo full of drunken 30 something business people pulls up next to me and asks if they can kidnap me until 1030. If I don't make it back tonight, call someone and tell them I died gloriously
I accidentally got a lemon stuck in your bong. I was trying to make it taste good. Sorry
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I remember it because it was right after the sadness and right before the sluttiness. The calm before the storm if you will
The fact that you're allowing Santa to dry hump your ass is sort of a dealbreaker
She bought my penis dinner and beer last night. Her words
I don't care how hot she was. She didn't like Scooby Doo and I don't fuck with that.
Literally.... Guy kissing himself in mirror in this hotel elevator
I need advice on ways to politely say “fuck you on your way to hell”.
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