Dude, no joke... I lost my wedding ring in some skank last night
oh my god. my mom just found my pipe. she thought it was a dildo.
like i said, there should be a sitcom about your family.
I just found out my favorite drunk show, Repo Men, is just reenactments. I can't express through words my disappointment.
part of it is the fact that im problem drinking, and the other part is my OCD wont let me leave the bottle half-empty.
Guy Shares All The ‘New Discoveries’ He’s Made Since Moving In With His Girlfriend And It’s Hilariously Relatable
i can't believe i had a foursome before a threesome
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
The bar owner gave me permission to push people into the pool. I'm never going to leave Los Angeles
I JUST FOUND AN INTERNATIONAL POLE DANCING CHAMPIONSHIP IN SPANISH
woke up in your bed at 6 AM. on my way home I passed Nathan, bloody, barefoot, and still in a toga. He told me he woke up in a ditch then kept repeating "I'm totally bringing this up at meeting tomorrow". I'm proud of your frat today
Guy Accidentally Starts A Group Chat With All The Girls He’s Talking To And Gets Absolutely Roasted
My balls are resting on a block of frozen cheese in a sealed bag
With everyone putting up pictures of their moms on Facebook it's time to go single MILF hunting.
I'm bonding with your girlfriend. I like her. We're plotting your demise.
She's like the sister I never had that I want to bang.
Don't take a pillow from my bed. You don't know which ones of them my vagina has been on
I'm basically the yoda of knowing when someone wants to sleep with you