dude that girl has seen more cock ends then weekends
she's walking around the room telling people she can make the room move with her mind and then she shakes her head really fast yelling 'see?!'
Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
strike ten. I need to stop drinkng
He just asked me to pee through my panties while he watched. I might need more tequila for this one.
He got me coffee AND filled up my gas tank. He must've fucked another girl in my car..
Pretty sure I picked a cat up off the street and took him home with me, fed him tuna, then let him go
He's in the same dorm as me. We are sharing a laundry room, gym, and cafeteria. I'VE ALREADY COMMITTED DORMCEST AND MOVE-IN DAY ISN'T UNTILL NEXT WEEK!!!!
Our DD will meet us there. The strippers are sending a limo to pick him up. He promised them New Years Eve massages. Said he would still drive us home.
I'm more of a "get high and take a bath" kinda guy.
I wasn't going to just ask my parents for a damn vibrator for christmas
She was nothing like her profile said, we had nothing in common, and her picture mustve been like 30 pounds ago. But yeah we hooked up
I love the barter system - he got laid and I got him to bring me some ibuprofen. A win-win really.
i just sexted for my mom while she was driving, i have hit an all time low.
The night went downhill somewhere between the time I was triple fisting smirnoff and when I was throwing up in the yard in nothing but my bra while he talk to me about mashed potatoes
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