I am I'm going to have heart failure he's peed on my life.
but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
One of the mothers are the party said to me "All your friends are getting married, you're just getting drunk"
So I just used shazaam to figure out a pairs figure skating song. I don't think I could get any gayer.
We're friends. And when I drunkenly send u a pic of my left testicle i would appreciate a response.
He tried to finger me at Disneyland! He tried to taint the happiest place on earth!
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
he ate me out like 4 times and told me that my vagina "was too much fun".
You know where a good place to spend summer is? In your head. High as shit. It doesn't matter where you are.
can't believe I traded a good night's sleep and a midterm for your blurry tits
You gotta buy me dinner first. Or smoke me out. Both are equally chivalrous
YOU BETTER NOT BE SHAVING YOUR LEGS RIGHT NOW IM TRYING TO HELP YOU
Just bought a colored water bottle so my classmates can be so judgemental when I bring beer to class.
You know I base where I go on the likelihood of me getting laid there. This includes work.
Randomize
