U r making out with a 12 year old get ur shit together
i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
Pretending to care about her feelings is becoming a full time job
my mom noticed the "toothpaste" stain on my tshirt...she repeatedly attempted to get it off by licking her thumb and rubbing it. See Jenn it obviously doesnt taste that bad...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I love how I just got my coachella ticket and ecstasy in a package deal.
He legit asked if he could come over for a hug. I feel like I've been booty called by a 12 year old.
Fantastic. I'm pretty cold, tired, dirty, and hungry, but that comes with an adventurous weekend. Who needs a wallet or keys anyway? I could totally be homeless.
Using a joint as a bookmark. What is my life?
Well, we broke up and instead of putting my shit out on the curb like a normal person, she fucking donated everything to Goodwill. So now I have to pay two dollars for one of my own t shirts.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How the fuck you gonna play love don't cost a thing in a strip club?
BUT YOU MUST FINISH YOUR QUEST
TO FIND THE HOLY GRAIL
AND GET DRUNK OFF YOUR ASS BY DRINKING OUT OF IT
Me and tommy were trying to figure out why our printer was jammed, found a condom stuck in the paper slot. #collegeprobs
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
CAPS.LOCK.AND.SPACEBAR.ARE.BROKEN.
I just saw an ad for "fair trade quinoa vodka". Fuck this world and everyone in it.
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