I just wish we had the ability to download food from our TVs.
I wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commercials.
I think I just broke my ankle. I've only had one beer. I'm getting drunk before I go to the ER so it's less embarassing.
his mom and i are swapping prescript pills..totally mother in law material.
all i asked was if it was all the way in, and now im laying here alone. sensitive guys fucking suck
there is laundry and salad ALL OVER my car, i need context
Babe. Honestly. Trust me. Your balls are not that big. And i'm eager.
The number of times I have seen your cock and the number of times I have wanted to see your cock are different!
HE GAVE ME ONE OF HIS BEERS.
YOU'RE THE CHOSEN ONE.
I fully committed to my astronaut costume, to say the least. blacking out on moonshine and having a moonwalk of shame this morning: happy Halloweekend.
I feel like I may be the only person who can say they crutched their walk of shame. past the secret service.
After we had sex he gave me a thumbs up... fucking A&M Aggies, man
Im bringing my light up rubber ducky just in case we end up at a rave tonight. HE CHANGES COLOR!
I am beginning to doubt your commitment to my making poor choices tonight
The guy in the cage next to me is having phone sex. His girlfriend is in College Library. Why is my life ridiculous.
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