K I think ***** turned off her phone. Guess I can't make her feel any more miserable tonight so I'm goin to sleep
we found a loaf of bread in my bathroom i believe its yours. sorry i took a shower before we noticed so it might be soggy
did i try to light ur hair on fire with a sparkler at the club saturday?
What would you do in exchange for having a girl eat a waffle house waffle off your body?
He gave me such a powerful orgasm I blurted out I love you. This is why just rebouding out of a serouis relationship is awkward.
You have no idea what this goes for my ego. I literally made you cum in your sleep.
you regret 100% of the tequila shots you do take. thats what gretzky meant to say
I think I may have accidentally stepped in fire
Dude this weed smells so good they should make it into a Vicks vapor rub scent and I would rub it all over myself.
Dude, she doesn't even live here... She just can't eat all our food and masturbate on my dog's couch...
did you just send me my own nude
My moral compass kept pointing to his penis.
I woke up to him watching me sleep and after I told him it was over he asked if we were still on for Vegas next weekend
this bedazzled flask is my best investment yet
Gov of Georgia is going to allow massage therapists to return to work.
Gives a new meaning to 'Happy Endings'.
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