Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
She's blonde
someone get that fucking seahorse.
erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
I'm a terrible person. There are two guys speaking sign language on the metro platform and at first I thought they were drunk and doing a silly dance.
I bought the love spell lotion from victoria secret so it atleast smells like a girl is present while I'm masturbating
did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
I have to overdose on valtrex I had a rough weekend.
My life has only gotten better since they built a playground behind the bar
He's yummy.
HE'S GAY. AND 40.
Irrelevant.
The last thing I want is a chocolate mold of my cock competing with my real cock for time spent in your mouth
Keep it up. It gets easier when you turn 21. Something happens in people's brains when they turn 21 and all of a sudden you have the power to drink constantly and abuse drugs and still graduate with good grades and your shit together. Im almost positive I read it in my freshman year bio textbook
You got Broadway Drunk, dude. I haven't heard you sing "Music Of The Night" like that since the last time I was holding you up on the way to the subway at two in the morning.
I want morning sex. We can incorporate maple syrup into it somehow, it'll be fun
So apparently I twerked on my coworkers last night. One month at the new job n I guess this is how I'm getting to know people
A Valium induced mom decided to walk into my bedroom this morning without knocking. Guess what I was doing? FML
Randomize
