Turns out I'm a social drinker... I just happen to be REALLY social.
You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
he gave me an orgasm. multiple times. the weird stuff he did in middle school is now irrelevant.
Kinda wish I banged him. I need the exercise.
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I'm eating cereal out of the pocket of my flannel right now
We sat on the porch laughing about hilarious the sunrise was. And that we can do drugs again in the morning, thank god
Sundays should be dedicated to Girl Scout cookies, sex, and super hero movies.
Vegas is great, yelled at a guy 4 lanes over if he wanted a bj. ended up having sex in a vacant lot. I think he was homeless.
I decided staying home, watching porn and masterbating was a much better choice than the gym. And I was right.
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You know the cave of wonders in Aladdin? That's how I feel about his apartment. Except with blow and other treasures.
We need a full length mirror. I just ate it trying to look at my shoes on the toilet. But aside from a arm bruise I'm good to go
We perfected the quiet ass slap during sex so his roommate wouldn't wake up.
Sarah was butt-chugging wine and diarrhea'd all over the wall
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
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