If this place produced love children they would be born wearing Lilly Pullitzer with raging coke addictions.
How do you wash franks red hot sauce, whip cream, grapejuice and shame out of silk?
I would just throw it away. You cant just wash out shame, it has to soak for like a month.
Is it because I queefed?
Just made gatorade. in the bathtub.
Just had to return the shit I stole from the dining hall, with everyone watching...apparently there ARE consequences for being drunk, coked up and belligerent.
I just realized I turned down a booty call too. To make cheesecake. God help us all
I just wanted to warn you I have strep throat incase I gave it to that guy we both hooked up with on New Years.
He's practically not my boyfriend anymore. So let's go get some glitter, balloons, alcohol and forget this night ever happened.
Also I would love to pregame at your place if I weren't stuck at mine drinking laxatives
You partied and then got cock slapped, Don't tell me you didn't have fun
Bourbon is too strong for my cat, he does not want to drink it
In the event that Ian's ex wife asks you, tell her I'm sweet snd innocent. No reason.
Also, you fell asleep with you hand on and around my cock last night.
Let me just get through this whole court subpoena thing and then ill go back to buying alcohol for minors.
i think i puked but i couldve been a dream and i may have madeout with a 20 something guy infront of my managers...also possible dream.
Randomize
