We just picked up about 540 lbs of women....
Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
She called herself a train and then took off all her clothing. I forget everything after that.
I saw you two flinging Jello at the sidewalk if that helps jog your memory.
Wife passed out. Doing shots with the hot bartender... Don't tell me I don't know how to celebrate a 1yr anniversary
So befoe we go on this mission how reliable are you for bailing peope out of jail
fun fact of the day: the man setting up my checking account at my bank has thrown up on my front lawn.
Thanks again for allowing my sister to lose her virginity on your bed.
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
I don't know... But I do think this is probably the longest series of texts we've written discussing your cock. David was right, it is a brave new world. Also, slow day at work again?
So, last night I fell asleep sitting Indian-style on the floor, propped up against the front of the couch with an empty wine bottle in between my legs... How was your night?
A big thanks to that bride-to-be, Her fiance and his loaded friends will forever hold a place in my heart for the generous tequila body shots on the couch at Henry's.
Then he shook the next streetlight but this one broke and fell over. He told me, "This is the part where we run."
He was jealous of me and threatened by me. I'm like, just cause I could fuck your girlfriend doesn't mean I'm going to
She's not even my type. She doesn't have a penis or a drug problem
I asked him to sing a song so he couldn't hear me throwing up as he was holding my hair
He said I was so drunk and high that I had a conversation w/ his goldfish. The video shows me clearly conversing as if talking to a person w/ pauses in conversation and everything
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