Omg. Never. Take a laxative the day you are going on. A date.
Do vagina's smell?
I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
I think forcing your little sister to drink with you on a Wednesday when she has school the next day is the low point of alcoholism.
It was her first time with a girl so I put on my tegan and Sara playlist to really get the full experience.
We just took turns doing keg stands. 27 is way too old for this. Out of 5 of us, our best time was 9 seconds.
Second wave of rafting ended in a concussion. Don't worry though, the paramedic says it's still not considered a DUI.
Why are you speaking in third person?
Because I'm so hungover that I don't even want to be myself anymore.
He Facebook stalked his way right into my pants.
Its gonna be a symphony of fucks
I awoke this morning to a naked boyfriend flying a remote controlled shark around his apartment. This is my life.
Only thing worse than going to work with a hangover is going to work with a hangover then realizing that u don't have to work that day
For the record, just because I'm a mess doesn't mean I don't know what I'm talking about when I give you advice. I'm way better at other people's lives.
Yeah we do. It needs to be like a good penis- long, substancial, and able to make people cry.
So, I feel bad. I just told my husband I had sex with someone else while on a business trip. Today is his birthday. I'm kind of a dick.
Randomize
